So I’ve recently moved over to a new blog since Tumblr wasn’t working for me with my mini Japanese translations (it kept on just not publishing half of my posts sometimes..so annoying) so it got really frustrating and I just made the switch back to Blogger. Also I’ve found the posting interface on Blogger is just a lot better for me as I post a lot of pictures and it’s just easier to have everything integrated with Google these days. I shall be a little sad to leave this old thing behind, especially the cute pink theme but yeah, whatevs. 

Been posting there for a while recently haha but couldn’t be bothered to post the new address on here until now.

Sooo anyway, here it is: hazelstarlight.blogspot.com

Please visit, follow, whatevs! :)

Also I’m back to translating a small segment of my blog posts in Japanese for practice. Or the basic point of it anyway haha.

１年間日本語を勉強しているとて、私の日本語はまだとてもわるですね。だから、私に許してください！＾＾；

このポスートは日本語で：

今、たくさんの感じを感じる。ついにしけんの時が追われるよかった。書いていた近代的な歴史とエーステンの数学のしけんはとくにむずかしくて紛らわしかった。

ほかに私は最近していることは：友達と一緒に映画館に行った。 最近も、ハンガーゲームという新しい映画を見た。すごくおもしろくてすごいかった。見た映画の前に，

So I am feeling a mix of feelings right now.  I mean I’m happy that exams are finally, finally over after the last two weeks of intense ordeal - which mainly came in the form of insufficient preparation-related stress in which I was seriously driven completely insane by. Like if my mental state of being was a flower I would have totally withered. Wait, crap that’s a bad analogy. Especially since the flower analogy is used for something else. Which I am definitely not talking about. Who even uses that analogy anymore anyway? It’s so ridiculously patriarchal and archaic. Nevertheless I definitely am not talking about that. So coming with that context of insufficient preparation related stress I am also feeling a little bit of horror right now mixed with relief. Is that even possible to feel simultaneously? It’s like my completely horrible evaluative statement the other day in my Modern exam on assessing the extent to which the Depression caused the Weimar Republic’s collapse. Instead of writing - like any rational person whose teacher has drilled them 100 times to EVALUATE in every question because apparently the BOS values our opinions (on the appearance of one anyway) - the actual extent like say “to a great extent” or to a “small extent”, I wrote - “to a moderately significant extent the Depression led to the Weimar Republic’s demise”. Is “demise” even really the most appropriate word? And what the heck does “moderately significant” mean? For some reason while I was writing it I felt quite clever but in hindsight not so much. My superiority complex was both delusive and not at all conducive to my exam technique. 

Moving on, there was also the Extension Maths exam. I have never felt more miserable in a maths exam than that exam. 

It was horrible and all manners of terrible. Feelings of absolute failure and the inherent superiority of my fellow Ext Maths-ers around me taking the exam were predominant. While I knew my exams were then and I had time to prepare for it while doing other assessments as well I didn’t because I always felt like it was this upcoming thing y’know? Like it feels like this thing that isn’t really real until I’m actually in the exam room and feeling absolutely terrible for preparing so insufficiently for it. 

So in conclusion, while I may not have performed my best in these exams it has taught me the realistic need to study. 

Other things I’ve been doing recently:new job and WATCHED THE HUNGER GAMES ».> 

Went with Mim, KT, Ally-wa and Luke to celebrate the end of exams on Thursday after my Japanese exam. It was SO FREAKING GOOD. Like seriously as novel to film adaptions go, that was amazing good. The cast, Peeta and Katniss were complete adorableness, the set, the costumes, the acting, the script, the composition and as my friend commented (which may or may not be slightly paraphrased) “the ability to pull off a romantic subplot in a post-apocalyptic plotline”. His comment is also quite credible coming from an Ext English student who has been studying Genre conventions over the last term. He know his subplots. (<—- lol that would be such a weird “That’s what she said” joke) 

We went shopping before the movie (excl. Luke who did not feel particularly inclined towards going clothes shopping with us) and I may or may not have indulged in underserved retail therapy haha…I found these really cute pink short shorts and a white short sleeve top with some American college print at Jay Jays and at Temt I got these 2 cute lacey tops. Mim found a really pretty aqua dress at Ally and KT bought some jeans at Jay Jays. The only one who came out of that trip empty-handed and pockets full (or in their original state XD) was Ally-wa who I don’t think got anything haha. And also discovered there is now a ICE store at Erina!! Turns out thats what kicked Nova out haha. We didn’t get a chance to go however as we were late for the movie by the time we discovered it and I STILL haven’t had a chance to go over since Thursday as I was been working all day yesterday and from 7am to 2pm today. Which leads me to my second thing.

Another new thing: new job! 

So I’ve been working recently at a bakery/coffee shop and its been really fun just working not with the family business like I have been used to. One of the things that also surprised when I first started working (whereas before I was just looking for a job and putting in resumes for ages) is the fact that when you have a job - you actually have to work. Like not just go to work and come home sort of thing. Which was this whole weird, completely unwholistic understanding I had of what-having-a-job means. But other than that it hasn’t been too bad. I really enjoy just working off the beach front and just selling coffee and cake is a nice way to pass the time. And the owners are really nice as well so its quite a nice place to work. 

So now I’ve a nice 2 weeks ahead of me in which I hope to catch up on my notes, earn some money and possibly do a photo shoot with Mim, KT and Ally-wa and Paige (which should be really fun! I’m excited), go on a picnic and attend the Tanken Centre workshop for Japanese in the second week so that should be fun. 

Okay I better get started on my Wiemar Republic notes for Modern, signing off! 

sailsandstripes:

Gonna do this someday. 

It’s not so much out of desperate angst but rather an absolutely irrational and unhealthy adoration for happy endings in most romantic dramas that I seriously just love about the 2007 BBC drama of Mansfield Park starring Billie Piper and Blake Ritson. Seriously the most adorable ending ever! Especially in comparison with the 1999 drama which really had a terrible confession scene which just looked very painful in general. I think Jonny Miller is much better off playing Mr. Knightley in the recent Emma drama. There’s something about Blake Ritson which is just so inexpressibly Edmund. Lol just all the pent up tension almost to equal the likes of Kimi Ni Todoke (WHICH STILL HAS NOT RESOLVED BTW…<__<) coming to a close….ah, it is like seriously so freaking cute~ I love how they sort of flip the perspective around so its like he’s seeing her in a new light and the completely ludicrous dramatic tension that they build up with the digetic sound and the absurd dialogue “Your father..” “It’s nothing” “Lavender” and as she pulls away he pulls her back and [AWESOME KISS SCENE THAT RESOLVES THE FREAKING TENSION FINALLY…]. And ofc, like any Jane Austen story, it ends with a marriage haha….my unhealthy attachment to these kind of dramas definitely uneases me. Other cute endings include My Princess (so lol at that ending), as I have mentioned before Jane Eyre (2006 BBC version) and Hana Yori Dango. There are definitely others but I can’t think off the top of my head right now. 

Yes, this is what has me crying into a bowl of instant noodles every night. Yes, I am joking.

EDIT: Also I just noticed Klaus is playing Fanny’s brother lolol. Awesome little cameo there but it was definitely strange to see him play not a leading role. 

I don’t know if this is so much inherent to the human condition or it’s just me but most of my life I’ve always felt the compelling need to document things. From diaries to video/photography to blogging (SO MANY BLOGS…I should stick to one) I have always felt this need to just save things in a sort of physical sense. From life experiences to just things that occupy my mind I like to record them. Even though I’ve never been one of those dedicated people who just write in their diary everyday and fill up pages and pages and books and books of diaries I’ve never stopped recording. Whether it be 2-day spans to a whole year goes by without touching it I always do come back to it.  I’m not sure if it goes with my natural hoarding instincts (which I am attempting to overcome as I have been decluttering my room over the last few weeks and watching an excessive amount of Ikea storage solution videos) but I feel strangely intangible without it. Because the thing is, I like having this blueprint of my life I can look back on, you know? Even if my childhood was largely inarticulate and my tween years a lot of semi emo angst I like that I can chart how I’ve changed. It’s funny how you can always prefer the present in this way.

Anyway, this blog has taken a really mediative turn haha. My writing is so fickle. 

Also Revenge is on break this week. American shows are ridiculous like this. Why can’t they just run like normal shows and go on break when their season actually ends? Not every freaking 3 episodes or leave with that massive cliff hanger.

So on a totally serious note, since I rewatched Spirited Away a few weeks ago I haven’t been able to stop thinking about what a powerful metaphor for the excessive consumption and greed of our society the transformation of Chihiro’s parents into pigs is. I mean that particular scene when Chihiro returns to find her parents after her brief meander around the town only to find herself suddenly alone in an apathetic, indifferent world has always impacted me but I never actually understood why. I guess all I’m trying to say is that despite how much I complain about HSC English (or the HSC in general really) I do appreciate learning about this certain structure to representation and construction. And the certain layers that must be interpreted in order to gain meaning. The strangest thing is that the beauty of knowing and recognising that these structures exist and are actually, actively shaping and influencing our ideas and the way we think about things at every turn is largely underrated. At the risk of sounding absolutely hypocritical, I guess what I’m basically saying is I feel like its totally strange that we, as conscientious, sentient human beings are quite happy to mock this subject when all it’s really doing is teaching us how to understand ourselves. 

So my character was on a date in these pretty meadows at night and the flowers are like little moon beam flowers (it was part of the main quest -_- don’t judge me) and he’s like “This is so perfect” and suddenly this Balverine comes out of nowhere and I whip out my sword and attack it - forgetting that I turned off safety mode earlier which avoids innocents getting harmed by any attacks - and my date is like, brutally slayed. Immense game play flaw. Lol, video game stories.

Also, I’m currently eating fish and chips. Fish and chips are yummy.

January 14th: Overcast weather today.